Most of us have heard of sex addiction among males, but did you know many women struggle with sex addiction (sometimes called love addiction)? One article points out that a woman may be addicted to sex if she is having:
All consuming thoughts
Increasingly risky behaviors
A lessening of moral values.
The addiction begins to adversely affect her “real” world.
What are the Causes of Female Sex Addiction?
- Often there are abandonment issues.
- Traumas (emotionally, physically, relationally, sexually)
- Core negative beliefs about self – “No one is going to want me.”
What is Female Sex Addiction?
Sex addiction is not really about the sex.
Sex addiction is really a fear of emotional intimacy.
Sex is used as medicine to take way the panicky feelings a sex addict feels. It’s a way for a woman to feel empowered and comforted. But the sex doesn’t take away the emotional pain for very long. Sex addiction (like all addictions) is really a poor way to numb emotional pain.
Sexual addicts have a lot of ambivalence: There is a craving for closeness and at the same time there is a fear of it. On one hand they seek sexual closeness and they idealize the encounter into an “all good” event, but at the same time it’s scary to get emotionally close to others. The very ones who caused a sexual addict’s core emotional wounds were those closest to her.
What is the Treatment for Female Sex Addiction?
People cannot heal in isolation. They need someone to help unpack the wounds. A wounded woman is “sexualizing” in order not to feel emotional pain.
Women with love and sex addictions need to find a therapist who is comfortable talking about this issue; someone who understands how a person’s brain wiring confuses a desire for emotional closeness with a sexual encounter used to numb her pain. She needs someone who sees her underlying hurts and helps her tell her story.
Long before a woman sexualizes her pain, there was sadness and longing in her life. You can read more here.
*Part of this material taken from the October 13, 2011 episode of New Life Today.
As a achild I was sexually abused. Due to this early introduction to sex and it’s pleasures, I became a promiscuous girl. I lost my virginity at the tender age of 12. From when I lost my virginity until I met the man I married (I was 22), I had slept with over 100 men (and 1 woman). After we married, I craved sex daily and even had to masterbate to calm my sexual urges. I never cheated on him but sex was an issue. After 13 years of being with him, I found out that he’s a perverted sicko and divorced him. We’ve only been divorced since April, but we seperated last April. Since the split, I have had sex with three other men and am always looking for the next flirt and possible sexual rendezvous. I don’t want to go down this road again. Masturbation doesn’t do much to help………
I took your name off, hope that’s okay. What you are experiencing is not unusual. If I were you I would find a good counselor who can help you “untangle the wires.”