In this blog I often refer to Attachment Theory.

There’s a really simple but fascinating book called Attachments by Tim Clinton and Gary Sibcy. It can help you figure out how and why you relate to others, as an adult, based on how you were treated as a child:

Secure Attachment Style

Self Dimension
I am worthy of love
I am capable of getting the love and support I need

Other Dimension
Others are willing and able to love me

Ambivalent Attachment Style

Self Dimension
I am not worthy of love
I am not capable of getting the love I need without being angry and clingy

Other Dimension
Others are capable of meeting my needs but might not do so because of my flaws
Others are trustworthy and reliable but might abandon me because of my worthlessness

Avoidant Attachment Style

Self Dimension
I am worthy of love
I am capable of getting the love and support I need

Other Dimension
Others are either unwilling to love me or incapable of loving me
Others are not trustworthy; they are unreliable when it comes to meeting my needs.

Disorganized Attachment Style

Self Dimension
I am not worthy of love
I am not capable of getting the love I need without being angry and clingy

Other Dimension
Others are unable to meet my needs
Others are not trustworthy or reliable
Others are abusive, and I deserve it

*ORIGINALLY POSTED 12/09/07