The Original Feeling of Child (OFC):
The un-fragmented child at conception with innate intelligence, talent, personality, creativity, physical appearance and the capacity to feel all feelings – appropriately and inappropriately.
The soul/true spirituality is the core of the Original Feeling Child. The Original Feeling Child is who a person was created to be.
I call this bear the “authentic self” or “Feeling Bear” – this is how we were supposed to be. God gifted us with feelings, which were meant to be expressed. Loving parents guide and nurture Feeling Bear’s feelings.
The Sobbing Hurting Child (SHC):
The “Pool of Pain;” created by outside negative influences, (abuse, neglect, illness, etc.) contains painful feelings only (fear, sadness, anger, loneliness, helplessness, etc.), created out of the Original Feeling Child.
The positive part of the Sobbing Hurting Child is that she enables a person to feel empathy and compassion, to be tender and caring.
I call this bear the “false self” or Wounded Bear – notice how her growth was stunted.
The Controlling Child (CC):
Innate defense mechanisms are created out of the Original Feeling Child to protect the Sobbing Hurting Child. The Controlling Child will use whatever he/she can, out of innate abilities or out of the environment, to hold down pain. Some of the most common defenses are: Repression, anesthetizing (food, alcohol, drugs, sex, tobacco), and relying on diversionary tactics (relationships, school, work, church, sports, music, reading, television, computers, etc.).
I call this creature “Gorilla Momma” – she is the addict who protects the wounded bear.
If you are living out of Gorilla Momma or Wounded Bear, you know it. Your life is filled with pain, and your relationships suffer. In counseling, clients learn to share feelings, tell the truth, accept responsibility, pray for a better understanding of God’s grace in their lives, and eventually offer grace to others.
Part of this material taken from Murray’s Scindo Syndrome, copyright 1985